The Future Telling Underwear
by Emerald Shadow Maiden
Summary: Uh...This is kind of something stupid I wrote a couple years ago after September 11th...It's kind of humor...But tell me what you think.


The Future Telling Underwear  
Part One  
  
As George sat at the table eating his breakfast he looked through the newspaper. While skimming through the ads he found one that caught his eye:  
  
"Want to know the Future? If you have large underwear or sushi call us and know about tomorrow!"  
  
"Hmm." Said George. " I wonder if Paul's underwear is big enough. Probably."  
  
So he called the number below the ad.  
  
"Hello! We read underwear, sushi, and many other products to tell you of tomorrow!" said the woman on the other end of the phone. "My name is Sanoko! How can I help you?"  
  
"Well Sanoko I saw your ad in the paper about you being able to read large underwear to see the future and wanted to know a bit more about it." Said George.  
  
" How big is the underwear?" asked Sanoko.  
  
"Hold on a second. I'll have to go check." Said George.  
  
He set down the phone and walked outside to the garage. He opened the door, walked across the room, and began searching through his brother's clothes that he had left behind. Finally he found a pair and began searching through the many layers until he found the tag.  
  
"Five hundred seventy-seven. Got it." Said George.  
  
He walked back inside his house and picked up the phone.  
  
"Sorry that took so long Sanoko. It's size five hundred seventy-seven. He had to get them specially ordered. By the way are you from Japan?" asked George.  
  
"Yes, I moved here not long ago. I think we'll have to rent a movie theater. This should be interesting." Said Sanoko.  
  
So they set up a date and Sanoko rented out a theater. George rented a trailer and some friends help him put the underwear into the trailer. He didn't know how he was going to get it out at the movie theater but he figured he'd think about it when he got there.  
  
When he arrived at the movie theater Sanoko and about fifteen of her friends were standing outside waiting. They were all dressed in oriental style clothing. He pulled the trailer as close to the doors as he could and then helped them haul it inside. They stretched over the backdrop in the theater with great difficulty. Then they all went to get sodas and popcorn before sitting down for the "movie".  
  
When they were all seated Sanoko pulled out a remote, pointed it at the underwear screen, and pushed a button. On the screen it counted down from five and began. It began to show a rocky and sandy desert looking place. Then the view moved to what could only be the Tora Bora hills in Afghanistan. U.S. planes were still bombing them when suddenly out of a cave a spacecraft shot out and up into space. It looked like one of those x- wing fighters you see in Star Wars. The picture swings over to a military base in the U.S. A similar spacecraft takes off and follows the first spacecraft. A close up of the first spacecraft shows the name of the craft to be "Allah's Will". Above which can be seen Osama bin Laden in the front seat and Mullah Omar in back. They have huge grins on their faces until they look below and see the second spacecraft. The picture zooms in on the second craft and the name is "USA rules, Terrorist' drool!" In the front seat is none other than President Bush and sitting behind him is Mayor Gulliani (that mayor of N.Y.). While Laden and Bush are fighting against each other Omar and Gulliani are exchanging words through radio signals.  
  
"Osama is a Camel!" says Gulliani.  
  
"Bush hasn't been watered in years!" shouts Omar.  
  
"We got more nukes than you'll ever have!" says Gulliani.  
  
"At least our women know they belong behind closed doors!" says Omar.  
  
"That's only cause they're ugly! Our women can beat up your women any day, any time, any place!" shouts Gulliani.  
  
"Oh, yeah?" asks Omar mockingly.  
  
"Yeah!" shouts Gulliani.  
  
"We-" Omar started to say something back when his craft took a huge shock.  
  
While they had been arguing, Laden and Bush had taken them far from Earth. Below them they could see an odd planet that looked almost like earth but the continents were way stranger.  
  
Suddenly "Allah's Will" lurched forward and began to plummet towards the planet. As they were going Osama shot off one more missile and it hit "USA rules, Terrorist' drool". They also began to plummet towards the planet. When both crafts were inside the atmosphere and only fifty feet off from the surface they all ejected from their crafts and watched them crash and burn as they sailed down.  
  
They landed in an open grass plain. They all removed their parachutes and looked around. Suddenly a fox like creature darted out from the grass and stood a couple feet away.  
  
"No way!" said Bush. " It's a Vulpix! We must be in Kento. Also known as the world of Poke'mon! Good thing I brought mine with me!"  
  
And out of his small knapsack he drew a belt with six Poke'balls on it, and a cap that said "USA rules, Terrorist drool" and put both on.  
  
"Well, I came prepared too." Said Laden.  
  
Out of his brown paper bag he drew a belt with six Poke'balls on it, and a white turban that said " I'm so sexy in this beard and you know it."  
  
Bush laughed at the turban.  
  
"Well, it was the only turban I could get on such short notice!" said Laden. " Besides you know it's right."  
  
"Yes," said Bush dreamily as his thoughts wandered. " I mean no. Let's battle!" "Fine!" said Laden. " Go Hitmonlee!"  
  
"Go Vaporean!" yelled Bush.  
  
And they prepared for battle.  
  
(Sorry that's the end of the first part.) 


End file.
